Journal #26

For my friends with precious little boys on the way...I love boy stuff too. Since I will probably "PINK" you out I wanted to be fair. I tend to gravitate towards themes and designs a little outside of the box (sorry-disney,snoopy, pooh). I must confess I am so inlove with the pups I was wondering if I PINK out the room if I could get away with this for a girl but I am being out voted over here!

Hope you enjoy!

Journal #26A- I LOVE THE PUPS!!!

Journal #26B
Here are my favorite themes for boys:

Journal #25 (#24 won't let me add) So I love this room too. If one splurges for the crib the room may be this bare. Luckily, I have the chair but it needs to be reupholtered in PINK. The crib comes in ESPRESSO if "scribbles" wins or WHITE if "bubblegum" is chosen. The link is a similiar model which converts to a toddler bed, and a full size too. Close in price, both have a drawer, and both from "Posh Tots" Here is the link:PoshTots - Belleville Convertible Crib - Product Images For great deals (more affordable than posh tots) on cribs and sets with many options: some include toddler rails, changing table, dressers, some come in many colors check out mini-tots. Here is the link Cribs Canopy Cribs, Convertible Cribs, Iron Cribs, Italian Cribs, Round Cribs , Sleigh Cribs, Standard Cribs, Unique Cribs ...

Journal #24

POLL #1- Bubble Gum or Scribbles???







Both of these are from one of my favorite sites because they have soo much for boys and girls, reasonably priced, and moe unique themes then the average. Baby Toy Town - Baby Bedding Sets - Crib Bedding & Nursery Furniture

Journal #23

I don't remember mentioning but when I received a copy of the first draft of our HS on Friday I didn't realize the agency reviews before the HS agency releases. This one week I did not account for in my timeline. The good news is I received an email this evening from our placement agency. Their social worker completed her review and approved the HS so the HS can be released to them. I didn't expect to hear anything until next Monday so it only took two days.

The "paper chase" part of the adoption process seems to be one that most do not like. Frankly, I don't mind the paper work. At least it keeps me busy in a productive fashion. Yesterday was the first day I didn't have someone to call, place to go, or packages to send out for the adoption. I felt a little sad to not be able to do something, ANYTHING. My notebook is perfect, the homestudy is complete, and my agency doesn't need me either.

Looking at baby furniture is giving me a headache. After changing my mind on styles, colors, and designs so many times, I decided to pick a different room in the house for the nursery. We put a larger range than average for age so who knows if I need a crib or a toddler bed. Interior design is one of my hobbies. I like to decorate and redecorate for us, our friends, and our offices. This reason alone is the miracle in itself that my other half still speaks to me. Not everyone could handle living in a construction zone. Fortunately he has the disease of "perfectionitis" so he ends up executing my great (he would say complicated) designs. At least the pain of the glass mosaic tiles around all my windows has subsided. The marble walls on a diagonal distracted the grudge. It looks great. We are on week 12 and hope not to see week 13!

My computer time is up for the day. Talk to you soon.

Journal #22

Good news first since it is Monday. I sent my final package to the agency this morning. Hopefully I was more thorough the second time around. The agency received the first draft of the homestudy. In about a week it should be complete. Good news for MOM- no more Shakira (too sexy for an adoption blog)

Bad news (appropriate for Monday and my new song selection), I don't have much to do so if you guys don't keep posting I won't have enough to read.

I fixed my email link so you now can email me directly.

Hope all is well.

Journal #21

EMAILS/COMMENTS. Please know when you email me from this site or leave comments I can not figure out how to respond. This is to people who have blogs on Anonymous and non-bloggers. If you copy my email address and send the email directly from your email I can respond.

Silver Spring, Shopping therapy sounds great. When??? Your blog is on private so outsiders can not view or respond to your posts.

Journal #20

Looks like it will be a rainy summer in Baltimore, MD. The dogs don't mind. They woke up for daily swim. It is pretty cute, Scooby drop the ball in the water on one side of the pool. Then he runs around to the other side of the pool to jump in to get the ball. True definition of "self-entertaining."

The infamous bathroom had the TV/Mirror installed by the famous MARCO. The tub surround was completed. Since it looks like it will be finished this week we decided to rip apart a few other well decorated areas so they can be redone. <----BOREDOM It is also a hobby of ours. My hobby is art and interior design. This translates into Marco's talents of creative contruction and solution to Lauren's outrageous requests. I think he is still a little bitter about the glass mosaic tile around the windows. Secretly I know he likes it, just the construction was a PITA.

Tonight we have a BIG birthday to attend for my father's 60th, grandmother's 80th, and my aunt's 50th. This should be eventful.

My new obscession is looking at children't furniture. I found this incredible site for hand painted furniture. After seeing the prices I was determined to find who makes it. FOUND! The prices are a little better but not what I classify as great. Inlove with erases the need to worry about the price because I am decided. the best part of finding the person who makes the originals is they are so willing to make it exactly how you want it. I am sure I will spend some time designing and making changes from their designs. The picket fence nightstand is where it all began. The doll furniture is so cute My mom never made sure I had handpainted cradles for my dollies. How dare you MOM! I forgive you. Here is the site:

http://www.buttercup-designs.com/gallery.cfm

I decided today to start my new blog. I will see if I can figure out how to link them. Marco's family is Italy. Katya- this is really for you and DAD. I always want to pick up the phone but the language barrier...Hopefully Pietro sent my "hello, I miss you" messages. When I needed Marco's birth certificate translated I have a great translation service. I requested today for them to translate my blogs so I can keep in touch. I am sure you may ask why not have "you know who" translate for me. He may deem something I say unimportant so it may be better to have a stranger handle this! See you soon!

Journal #19

Where do I start? First, HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY ELLE!

Very excited today. I finally added all of the wonderful blogs I read to the BLOGROLL, which is an enormous accomplishment. I figured out how to add a music video to my blog...sorry if Shakira isn't to your liking but I will change it often. You can click pause to mute the music.

Having all of my documents completed yesterday was a really good feeling. I wasn't expecting much for a week or two. The first surprise was I received the first draft of our Homestudy. Impressed! We look pretty good on paper. The only blank was for our State of Maryland clearance. As usual, Marco got the mail. This is a menial task that I find impossible to accomplish. For some reason it never has dawned on me to bring in the mail. In the mail today was the clearance we weren't expecting for another 7-10 days. I think this means they can fill in the few blanks and prepare the final copies of the HS for the INS, and our agency. Now there is not much to wait for until I get the confirmation the HS is complete so we can wait for the I171H (SMILING)

Journal #18

Yesterday I think I broke a record for the "most gabby girl" in town. I am fully recouperated from my tantrum. By noon today I had both physicals and the letters of good conduct in my hands. Thanks to my good friends and friendly doctors!

To the agency: I can handle it! In their defense, on another paper it did say individual letters for each of us. I am the frustrated moron who didn't follow the DIRECTIONS.

Work. Yes, two days in a row I went downtown to our charming city to visit the office but now I am DONE. Marco is stuck finishing my bathroom. I figured he needs an excuse to stay stuck so I ordered a new faucet, mirror, and lights for his bathroom. Tomorrow I will pick out the paint. The cement guy will come make new countertops on Saturday. I love this concrete! In the midst of all of these unnecessary renovations I decide I wanted to redo the hall bath for a child. Butterflies? I am loving butterflies and daisies today.


I am in BLOGGER HEAVEN TODAY. I found this clock site to add the cute little clocks. Most importantly I found MISS ZOOT- Thank you so much for your wonderful creation! She graciusly gave me some of her time to redo my beautiful blog. Now I am going to sleep a VERY happy blogger tonight. Sweet Dreams.

Journal #17

My solution to getting off the computer is going OUT! I just got home from dinner and a few with my girlfriend Lizzy. A very good recipe for a humorous evening.

HERE I AM...I have returned to cyberland ASAP.

Blogger friends are very important. Everytime you guys leave me a comment I smile. It is so cute. I do attempt to leave messages but I can't figure out why they do not transmit. When they do it is usually after a million attempts. I wish I could reply by clicking reply on the email but that doesn't work either. I wish blogspot came with an instruction manual! I NEED specific instructions. Yes I am the person who actually reads them. However, this situation is one a lack of a manual is beneficial. I have nothing better to do with my frustrations than to figure this stuff out.

Frankly, if it wasn't for embarking on the pleasures and pains of this process I would not even be in front of the computer. Wow, how much my life is changing. Quickly and unexpectantly too. Most of you are very ahead so you have already been forced to wait at the mercy of this process. Some have waited so long I assume the roller coaster becomes painfully irritating. However, I have a difficult time understanding why I speak to Miss "A" who started this process in December and she is home with her baby by May 2006, then I speak to so many others who have started in 2004 with no conclusion to date. However, I do understand accreditation delays, political delays, and times when the system is somewhat dysfunctional. Logically, a US agency, a Russian facilatator, different time zones, different interpretations, and an anxious customer may not be a perfect recipe.

I must admit I have always chosen the rocky road over the yellow brick road. Whether for the challenge or to prevent bordom it has been a pattern. My agency may be great or they may not. Obviously I can not judge as of this time. I know they were the most impressive or I wouldn't have chosen to work with them. Hence the reason I do not mention them. No paranoia here. I would hate for someone to pick "them" because of our decision. As described under agencies (journal #3) this was a HUGE decision for us. Here is how I feel about them. They are not hand holders, nor do they give that sweet gushy "anything for you" attitude at the inception (then switch up), but the professionalism as a business is consistent,, and believe they were the most honest and straight forward regarding the process and possible glitches. My decision was made because I rather them be upfront then surprise me later.

If you know how I approached this project it was methodical. I delayed selecting an agency until I gathered most of the documents, fingerprints, certifications, began the homestudy and the I600A. There were many times I actually questioned my decision to do it my way. I stand by this process as being a better way. Here is why. I am not locked into rushing a decision to work with "anyone" I may not want to work with through this possibly long process. I do not have to feel forced to continue with an agency when I didn't feel capable of making the decision. Thank goodness I waited. I may have sent many applications of $200 to agencies who were accredited yet not reaccredited. At the time I don't even think some of the agencies I "liked" (whatever that means) were even accredited. Where I will be very soon is paper ready with all of my options open. I babbled about this because so many people (not my blogger friends) respond to my responses with "What agency are you using?" Honestly, who I am with today may not be who I bring my child home with tomorrow! Of course I would like believe everything will go smoothly (but I have read many stories). In addition, I hope my taking my time through the beginning will have led me to finding the agency who fits best for us. If you choose a different agency, and end up in a different region...there may be a paper or two more BIG DEAL. Since our decision to go with them we have felt a sense of peace of mind. Sometimes I can't imagine why I thought this would be such an easy part of the process. For us it was the most difficult decision for us. Part of the difficulty I attribute to almost going with the wrong agency (FOUR TIMES) and the first one probably having the worst reputation possible. Venting hard this evening, maybe it was the martini but I am getting so close to having all paper work completed I am feeling the stress of this process for the first time. The fear of making decisions in an arena I know nothing about. The vulnerbility of trusting strangers. Mostly surrendering all control to one of the most important decisions of our lives. Hope everyone had a pleasant evening. I am looking forward to a new day! Nite nite.

Journal #16

Last night I wrote a lengthy babbling post as I had one coffee too many so I couldn't sleep. Apparently I clicked the "x" before the "publish post" so I will attempt the abbreviated version. P (SW) came for about an hour and a half. She interviewed us separately. We were informed we spoke so much the first night that she felt she had enough information to finish it up today. Basically she needed information how we viewed our childhood, and our religious beliefs. Actually the process of the homestudy wasn't as intrusive as I expected. Of course when I am asked how I am doing I think someone is invading my privacy, lol. Good news for the day. Despite the fact the homestudy agency told me FBI clearance would take 6-8 weeks I decided to go ahead and have an extra set of fingerprints completed when we did the set for them. I went ahead to the FBI site, followed the directions, included a sob story for the reason I need them immediately, marked the envelope ADOPTION, and they were returned to me in 7 business days. The homestudy agency was not sure whatever I would receive would be the same. One step ahead. I called CJIS as I mentioned earlier so I knew the results were the same. I decided to include the results (originals) in the package with all my final docs to the homestudy agency. The email I received today said this is the same so my homestudy will be complete to submit to the INS early next week. The bad news, some MORON at the CJIS office who handles Maryland, kicked out Marco's paperwork because his S/S # was incorrect to her eyes when she saw the A#. An A# is issued for legal residents for my husband is not a US citizen. This will take about 5 days to be reentered into the system properly so we have no hold up with the I171h. My new estimate puts the I171H into my hands by the first week in July,maybe sooner. We will see...

Journal #15

Anyway, Within an hour of me posting my second post for the day the phone rings. Our SW calls to let us know she isn't busy this evening if we want to meet this evening she can come about 5:30. OK, I am actually excited! Maybe I should run to brush my teeth, a little lipstick, and ...maybe not the doorbell is ringing... It is now 7:30. She just left our home. She will be back tomorrow. This is way quicker than I imagined but she said she will have it completed by Friday, woohoo! Going to cook dinner. PS She was really sweet!

Journal #14

I added the link to the MOE's agency list since a few people have asked me for this but you need to scroll to the middle of the page (В соответствии с Приказом Минобрнауки России № 14 от 25.01.2006) This is where it begins for agencies reaccredited in January of 2006 good thru 2007. Everything that says 2006 is the expiration. The first section of 2007 is January. It seems as though the agencies reaccredited for April have not been listed yet but some are available on JCICS.

Journal #13

For everyone new to bloggerland, blogs read in reverse so to read about the beginning of my adoption process skip to Journal #1 by clicking on June 2006 under Archives. We are still living in the beginning of this process!

Monday humor anyone? I don't have much. I don't want to get irritated but I only have one original of our physicals. Getting Marco's has been my only delay (doctor was on vacation) in paper work. Here we go again. We are scheduled for our final meeting as of five minutes ago. I called CJIS to put the accelarator in gear. They said next week I will have the State clearance. My timeline goal is to have the dossier and homestudy completed in 60 days so we may make it. The I600A was returned on May 10 and our fingerprints completed the next day so if we can pull this off by July 11, 2006 we will be right on schedule! On schedule for what??? Oh, to wait for the 171h. At least Maryland is a fast state for this one. I've heard some states take up to eight weeks opposed to two weeks.

Have a good Day!

Journal #12


Happy Father's Day to all celebrating today. Dad, Larry, and Elio we love you so much. Sorry we didn't get to see any of you today. One is in Italy, one went to the beach, and the other one didn't feel well. We ended up fatherless today.

The guys came and installed the countertops in the infamous spa bathroom. Marco finished tiling the marble walls. Good news, we are still married after I had to have mosaic glass tile around all three windows, and the huge bulkhead above the tub. You can't see the bulkhead but the tub is 54w x 78L and the bulkhead covers two thirds. The surround is poured concrete just like the countertops.


Oops, the backsplash cracked when they were installing today so another week without a bathroom for me. It has only been 11 weeks. The pattern in the center is the natural grind of the cement.Very cool look. This piece ways about 350 pounds (8ft long 3in thick)

Below is the product of Marco's beautiful work. He marbled the whole room, put in heated floors so my feetsies don't get cold in the winter, and and glass mosaic around my window. By the way, he has never done it before, but it is PERFECT. THIS MADE ME SO SO HAPPY!

<----That is where the toilet goes There is our little project we have been working on the past (almost) three months. My bath was the only original room left in the house. Every year for the past eight years, it has been a plan but something always comes up. I am not quite sure if it is being done because I deserve it so much or I was annoying everyone about my ugly bathroom but it worked.

The physical was faxed so hopefully we will finish the homestudy this week. This was the last document requested for the HS and the dossier. I think we are on schedule (their schedule) but I don't think there is anything we can do. Of course I would like Marco to help redo something for the baby's room, but if I start with that you may never hear from me again.

I think it is a good sign that we made it through this home improvement so I better lay low, very low.

For all my new friends who have sent me emails I get so excited to hear from you! It is nicer to be in the "waiting room" with so many understanding people. Of course I wish for all of you to be "next"! Best Wishes for the days to come. Have fun! We will all have are hands full very soon.

Journal #11

Marco just left to pick up the last eentsy beensty paper that we need. His physical. In Maryland the homestudy agency will not be released until they get the State and FBI clearance but other than the clearance. We are finished FOR NOW. From all you pros in bloggerland, tell me what I need that they aren't telling us yet so I can get a head start. I have this need to complete "something" but the dossier is incomplete without the homestudy. The homestudy is as complete as it can be...I know (but I don't really know yet) this is the bad part. The twiddling the thumb stage?

I have read on so many of your blogs about the waiting. Waiting, waiting, and waiting. Thank you all for your blogs. I read them all! I will be reading them for a long time to come. Whoever could have imagined how powerful the support could be through blogs.

Elle and D, I just want to tell you...I adore you guys. I love what you say to others, your contributions are so amazing that you provide a really awesome support system.

Change of topic...gifts. Most of all of you have travelled your first trip or have read numerous books. What kind of gifts did you bring? Did you bring a lot of stuff for the children? Mentor me.

I have to go find something constructive to do Talk to you soon!

Journal #10

Thank you, Thank you to everyone in Bloggerland who sent me an email. I wish could return them but when I reply it doesn't give me an email address.

Tuesday morning I started to compose an entry but it sounded a bit MANIC. Well I was a bit off the hook too. I received a package from the agency. Let's say it was like taking an exam and thinking you got an A+ but upon return you see a big FAT D. The package was the response to my dossier. OK, I thought my HP color copier was the cats meow and I could send a color copy of the bank letter. I grabbed the original out of my collegic notebook to send with a memo saying I inserted the wrong copy. Ten letters I received by email regarding "commitments" for post placement, adoption, and a few more for the region I copied onto the agency's letterhead, but the directions were not clear so I sent all new copies not on letterhead. Then the most beautiful compilation of photo's arranged perfectly....INSUFFICENT (they weren't interested in all of our family and friends). Need more photos of the interior and exterior of the house. If they want the whole house photographed it is NO PROBLEM. I snapped away, printed, and arranged. All of the reference letters needed original signatures but the homestudy agency needed them so I sent the agency copies. Boo boo, the references are all people who know us well so they signed new copies. All finished! Now they have everything except Marco's physical and the "letter of good conduct from our local police. When the homestudy is complete we will have our I171h so we can be complete. Luckily in MD it takes ten business days!

At this point (on Tuesday) I had enough I left by noon for the Borgata in Atlantic City with my girlfriend. I just came home to be greeted with some GREAT emails from all my bloggeraddict friends, and guess what else came??? My lovely letter of good conduct didn't read well since I had an incident with expired tags NINE yrs ago. What are expired tags to a Russian Judge? I will deal with it tomorrow but NOT A HAPPY CAMPER.

It was nice taking a night for a little drinking and gambling therapy. Marco is running the crew on the reconstruction of my spa bathroom I designed. He is doing an awesome job! Photos coming. I am happy to almost completed the first stage of paper chasing. I know many of you have been doing this for a long time are probably laughing since I assume there is sooo much more to come!

Hope every one is happy and healthy! Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Don't forget to visit...
4pickle.com
before August 2006 I appreciate supporting our friends to help BRING HOME PICKLE!!!

Journal #9

I will surrender my addiction to pink and purple for a good cause.

For all of you able I am asking to please make a donation FOR PICKLE by August 2006. This is very important to me.

A new friend found me via this blog. To say the very least she touched my heart. What she has given and continues to give to this community as far as PAP's is amazing. I am not going to list all of the reasons I am so IMPRESSED. Most importantly, they sacrificed to be financially prepared, and were given few grants to make their dreams of having a child possible.

During the accredition laws in Russia changing (while they were on the plane ride home from trip number one) the most UNTHINKABLE happened to them. Sadly, they found out after eight months of carrying a photo of Baby "A", flying all across the world, and holding their child, that during the delay they lost their child to a Russian family. Happily I report to you they have since traveled to Russia in the past month to find "Pickle." They have choosen after their grave dissappointments to not disclose the name of their child at this time. The financial facet of International Adoption is costly. One Additional trip to Russia is clearly devasting for some. Please reach out and give from your heart to help them BRING HOME PICKLE.

Let us make sure there are no more shattered dreams and broken hearts for this family who is so giving and who has brought so many of us together through their website:

http://unexpectedmiracles.blogspot.com/( I can't do a whole journal with no purple.)

The court date is estimated to come for travel in August. There isn't a lot of time. As soon as possible go to http://4pickle.com/ to make your donation or click on the pickle icon in the sidebar to take you to paypal.

All of your generosity will be appreciated beyond words. Every little bit counts. I started with a donation yesterday. Please join me.

Journal #8

The beginning of the adoption process creates "cyberhermits." Everyday I wake up vowing to not be like...THIS. The more time I spend in virtual adoptionland the more I realize I am not an alien, there are many other creatures evolving into the same being, and most importantly those who I have met not evolving into THIS are in the incubating stages before the birthing. Could this be "adoptioncy" opposed to pregnancy? I tend to believe this creates a language that only those of us who embrace the excitement, anxiety, and vulnerbility of this process can understand. What is the driving force to this self-inflicted torture? Fear. Not a promising remark from someone who believes she is an "optimist" but the support, and assurance from those of you (finished with the process) who are graciously blessing us with your time and experience, provide us with HOPE. HOPE is our indicator of being able to approach the finish line...SUCCESSFULLY. Of course we know we will get there, but if you are a cyberhermit, you probably are trying to approach adoption in a methodical and logical format. To be methodical and logical means remaining in a state with detached emotions. Here was my plan. Step one was to figure out a country. Check. Step two was to select an agency using the process of elimination method. Check. Step three was to read, study, review, and rereview (did I make up a word) all information. In between, the I600A and the homestudy would be a work in progress. At the time of completion I would put everything aside so I could continue my life in a usual fashion since this part is quite straight forward with an outlined timeframe. When all of the above was completed and the I171h was in our hands. We could talk about baby names, baby rooms, travel plans, and other essential planning.

Doesn't quite work the way I planned. This must be morning sickness. Emotionally detached? Impossible. Fighting it is hopeless. Trying to force changes is usless. EMBRACE IT! Conclusively, I am so delighted to be so committed mind, heart, and soul. Now I reflect with these final words. For one to give all of themselves to engage in a journey of love, devotion, and completeness of their family must be a sign that the rewards of our endurance will never be able to be translated into words.

To those of you I have recently met by phone, email, and chat boards. All of you are such special people. No matter if you are in the very beginning, painfully waiting, or successfully home all of you have a gift of understanding. The generosity of time and emotions are priceless. Thank you so much for this journey together so all of our paths could cross during such a special time in our lives.

I can't wait to see your emails with PHOTOS when you come home!!!

Journal #7

If I had three wishes...1)We would be home from Russia with a healthy child and this process would be over. 2)All children in need of a home would find their forever homes with a minimal wait.3)Through this process I could find most links and information (current info) on one page which could assist is important decisions. Well, I can't do anything about one and two but I will attempt number three. My intentions are to provide a few links to sites that are informative, offer a sevice we will need pre and post adoption, and offer more than a sale.

For all of us beginning the process you know some regions are requesting a psychological exam or an eight physician exam. In the region (Kazan-Tartarstan) where we intend to travel we will need a psychological exam. This story is a great one about an older child adoption. Also the author conducts these exams. Read Linda's Full Story . A short story by a PH.D. who had the intentions of adopting a young and healthy child from Russia. Also check out her sevices for the exam www.adoptionpsych.com

This site is one of the first sites I marked during the initial selection of agencies and countries. The site contains a little of everything about many countries. A pleasant read about Russian Adoption .

If you are preceeding with an Adoption from Russia - Adoptive Families you may find this news publication interesting. It provides some quick statistics and useful links.

Apparently, Karen's Adoption Links - Adoptive Family Stories and Blogs - Russia, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Eastern European is a very popular site. Many PAP's link this site on their blogs. This one is worth marking for reference purposes.

Check out this link for quick comparisons, an abundance of information on pre and post adoption information. http://international.adoption.com

Saving the best for last. This link happens to be one of the first "blogs" I read in April. Mind you it is a VIDEO blog by Nicole (no others could compare!). She was on her way to Kazakastan to bring home her daughter. I marked this site because not only was it "her story" but she does these videos for others. What a special memoir to show your child. Anyway, I phoned Nicole yesterday to make sure she still does these video's for others and to see if I could add her to my blog. Happily I can announce she does continue to provide this service since I intend using her with my adoption footage. Her company, Legacy Video Productions, has a link on my sidebar too. I think you will really like this one!

http://www.legacyvideoproductions.com/adoption.html

Hope you enjoy the links, hope it saves you time in searching, and hope it helps passing the time while we all "hurry" and "wait" for the moment!

Journal #6

Today I was recovering from an all nighter. I read a post on FRUA that engaged me in reading for almost nine hours. It is not my first choice to talk about or relay "horror" stories. Gosh, I don't want to hear many of them at this stage of the adoption process. I am still recouperating from the "selecting an agency" process. At the same time we must remember these people are real. The reality of this process is "anything" can happen. Sadly, ALL of the kind loving voices who offer us support and guidance through this process are in business. The definition of business is to turn a profit. This is their JOB! Personally I deem it more informative to read some of these stories so we can learn from the past. Yes, some of these stories are frightening. Most importantly they are a reminder to us to be cautious, follow our gift of instinct, and be prepared to make crucial decisions about our future. If you requested a healthy child on your application for placement, I will assume (like myself) you do not feel qualified or comfortable in adopting a special needs child(don't feel guilty, many wonderful families who are educated and equipped to deal with more severe issues do so). Therefore we hire IA physicians, probe caregivers, and request any/all additional information available. I imagine it is easy to fall in love with the "referral" photo. Our minds imagine this to be our child. I am falling inlove with the thought of receiving our referral. Reasonably speaking, emotions have to be kept in perspective until the meeting of the child. We must examin our child physically for potential issues, we must not rush to take a child if there is just reason to get a second opinion. Hesitantly I post these links for your knowledge. I do warn you that they are TEAR JERKERS at the very least. These are the stories that instill fear if you allow them but can be informative in taking preventative measures in the making of decisions. Regretfully these stories are REAL. Just like anyone these PAP's were excited, emotionally and financially vested in bringing home their children. Get a box of tissues!

In memory of Ethan...http://www.justiceforethan.com/index.html

Elizabeth and Daniel's Russian Adoption...http://www.bewareofbbas.org/

Journal #5

The puppies need an entry. They have been the most neglected. If I wasn't sitting on the computer we would be out by the pool. Tomorrow life will be back to normal. At least this is what I tell them. Thankfully dogs are forgiving. These are the "twins" (they are from the same litter) we rescued them at 6 months. Buttercup and Scooby (the cigar) are turning 5 this year. They can't wait to have a playmate. They were good sports for the Doctor. They too needed a physical for the homestudy. I asked if we should apply for fingerprints and FBI clearance but I was told only for members of the household over 18.

Journal #4

Where has the past 5 weeks gone? Marco is still wondering when this will fade into the past. I am realizing how important this is to me. Unbelievably I have isolated myself in front of a computer. Frankly, I am beginning to miss Marco and the dogs. Somehow this is consuming my world. Everything is almost complete. I didn't even realize how much I was accomplishing while researching. May 27, 2006 is here. We already have our I600A returned so we can go have our fingerprints completed by the INS. We went a few days ago. Today Bernie was coming to fingerprint us for the FBI/State background check and I just received Marco's translated birth certificate. Still awaiting our MVA records. We are getting ready to leave for Atlantic City for the weekend. I am excited. The need to spend some time together, spend time in the spa, and GET AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER is a must. We are home now. Just received the letter from the health insurance company. Next week we should have our physicals returned. The water test on the well came back perfectly. I have prepared the package for the agency to be sent today and June 1, 2006 we will begin our Homestudy. The "dossier" is the list of documents you complete for the country. After this package is complete with your homestudy to include the I171, which is the final approval from the US government (response to the I600a), the agency will receive a copy from the social worker. At this time, we will be paper ready. We are hoping to be paper ready by July 15, 2006. After we returned from the agency for the first interview to complete stage one of the homestudy we had another list of papers. the MVA records were incomplete, and they need Marco's physical to begin stage two in our home. At this time all I can do is wait for his physical to arrive. Today we had the Health Inspection on our home. Still waiting for his physical. Now there is absolutely nothing I can do.

Everyone is up-to-date.

Journal #3

Agencies. Gosh I thought it would be a little different. Maybe a few calls to interview the person on the other end to see if there is a connection. Compare fee structure. My thought process was we don't get paid until we deliver so I was looking for a company who doesn't take ALL of their money upfront. Seek a few referrals from recent clients. POOF! Selection completed. It doesn't work this way. Also, you need a "homestudy" agency too. Anyway, I went through the above about a dozen times. The first gentleman I spoke to sounded wonderful. Application complete and check written. My gut said run a check on google and aol. Not good. I decided to proceed. There are so many agencies why even ask for justification. About 4-5 agencies later I did make a decision. Regretfully about the same time I started to learn about accredititation. Common sense says why go through an agency using another agency if I could use one who is accredited directly. Today I was lucky, I found an agency who also does homestudies in my state. They are located about twenty minutes from our home. I felt like I won a lottery. Their fees were average, they were very professional, and most importantly accredited. My mom tells me someone she knows happens to know someone who has used them. Stellar reviews. At this time I found FRUA, (www.FRUA.org) which had oodles of information from people who have been through this process. They checked out well! What the heck is RE-accreditation. Exactly what it is. Expirations are coming up for many agencies. Since there has been a few serious instances in the US which has resulted in the death of Russian adoptees, the process for RE-accreditation seems uncertain for some agencies. Take a deep breath. Easily I located some links,(http://www.jcics.org/Russia.htm ) and (http://www.usembassy.ru/consular/consular.php?record_id=adoptions )which are also posted on our site(sidebar) who listed RE-accredited agencies. Good news to report. There are only about 8 agencies. Of course I went through the process with all of the agencies with the 4 most current renewal dates. Done for REAL!!! I am going to elect not to disclose my agency YET. I did continue with the local agency for my homestudy. Now I have all of the lists necessary to prepare the "dossier" for Russia and begin the homestudy process.

Journal #2

Pick a country. Sound easy, not! I have traveled in my mind to Ukraine, Kazakstan, Russia, China, and back to Russia to seek a child. Everytime I made a decision I changed my mind. As I filled out applications and wrote the check I was crumbling paper and voiding checks. Ukraine was so perfect until I finally read adoptions to American citizens are closed for healthy young children. No problem. I quickly adjusted to possibly staying in Kazakstan for 30-45 days. Just when I was ripping up the applications for Kazakstan (I found out we both need to be US citizens) I was told by an agency they could do a dual citizenship adoption. OOPS! Not anymore. Today, Russia is it. Requiring two trips and all of the information about health issues I decided to pause. China. There are so many wonderful reasons to adopt from China. Frankly, I can't think of any reason not to adopt from China. The children are healthy and beautiful(all children are beautiful). The process seems to be the most straight forward. No doubt the most affordable. Another application and check written and SENT! It wasn't going to work. Too much conversation about multi-ethnic families. The consensus of our families made us think about a few issues we weren't prepared to commit. Privacy has been of upmost importance to us. Sounds funny when I am publishing a blog but it is different to consider everytime you go to dinner, grocery shopping, or anywhere. Adoption is personal. I decided our life has been complicated enough in the past few weeks. Back to Russia. Almost 25 days to make a decision on a country. The good news is I completed setting up my notebook for China and there wasn't many changes for the basic papers that we would need for Russia.

If this didn't give you a headache read on to "agencies". I may minimize the "agency" topic because it was the WORST. For everytime I selected a country there was about 3 agencies I spoke to by phone. Who knows how many sites I read.

Journal #1

Once upon a time is the best way to begin. When I woke on April 12,2006 I knew I was about to change the course of our lives. Simply, I wanted a child. Without hesitation I began to embark into a new world of International Adoption. Yes, we could have biological children for those of you who do not know us. This new idea seemed perfectly "natural" to me. This topic was discussed briefly. Briefly. Sadly, we knew we would be on different ends of the spectrum. This is a serious place to be for two people whose lives have meshed so easily over the past three years. I know Marco is hoping for this to pass. Though we both regret not being on the same page, the outcome is unpredictable. With great respect and a strong friendship we mutually agree to live ourlives one day at a time.

In seperate entries I will take you through the progress weekly from once upon a time to the present.