Journal #40

Was it only May 15, 2006 we selected a homestudy agency? Was it only June 1, 2006 we started our Homestudy? Is it possible 2 months ago we made our final decision on a placement agency after not being able to find our dining room table cluttered with packages?

Sometimes it feels like yesterday when I woke up with this feeling of having to go find our child. Three months ago I had a unexplainable feeling of a child missing in our life but today I have dreams of hearing little giggles. My imagination runs into fields of dreams with fantasies of our new family.

When I look into a mirror, sometimes I have to blink twice as I think is this my life? The transition from a sophisticated business woman to a young mother is a change I didn't expect. Oneday I am sitting revising settlement sheets and preparing for real estate transactions. Next, I am searching for cribs and bibs.

To think my biggest issues to be what shade of pink to paint a bedroom makes me laugh. Of course there are bigger issues like will we ever get there? What IA is the best choice for us? Will we survive to blog about this process?

After completing the homestudy, completing the dossier requirements, and receiving our permission to bring an international orphan into our home, and receiving the confirmation that our dossier is in Russia, I feel another transition. More surreal than the morning I woke with this need to seek our child. Now I am on planes, trains, and foreign court rooms. The tears and smiles are endless. Before I imagined a child, now I imagine our child. Our "angel" has a NAME, a face, and a place in our heart. The understanding of a family losing their referral has a different meaning. The idea of traveling blind sounds like a gift opposed to an idea we may have heavily opposed in the beginning. A picture and a video went from a necessity to a curse. Just get me there. I do believe in destiny. When our destiny becomes reality I know everything will be alright. After making so many friends in this arena, reading the bad with the good we have prepared ourselves for difficult decisions. We have grown through the beginning of this process as students. Having completed the first few courses, they may seem difficult, tedious, and complicated but so important for the preparation of the next level. If you are with us, ahead of us, or just in the beginning of this process embrace the steps which will take you through this amazing journey. There will come a brief time in this process where running around for documents is more fun than sitting and waiting. YEAH YEAH YEAH...I said the samething. Let's get done and finished. The waiting is so much worse! The anticipation of what you wait for next is alomost torture. Russian adoption was the least attractive to me for one reason: TWO TRIPS. Of course if I could bring home my child than go back to complete paper work it would reasonable. To see, touch, and have your child in your arms and be told you have to come back when a court date is scheduled is still a difficult for me to swallow. All I can do is repeat to myself, "everybody does this you will survive!" and repeat it again and again.

Let us embrace the process, the country we have choosen, the birth mother's who have given us their little treasures to call our own, and the agencies/facilitators who have choosen a career of how to guide us through bringing our babies home.

We hope you and your family has had a wonderful weekend. Wishing all the good news expected this week to arrive QUICKLY!

Journal #39

Back to normal stuff... I hear all this talk about learning Russian. After reading Jen's post about the wonderful people in Russia who were so kind and patient playing cherades, I wanted to share my story. Three years ago I traveled to Turkey. I did pass through Istanbul, which is very Metropolitan but I visited a quite desolate Eastern Village for the majority of my stay. NO English. Not some, or a little...NONE. Next, I am sure somewhere along the way I mentioned my husband is from Italy. His family speaks limited English. Before my FIL came to visit the first time we met I purchased a handheld language translator. This was true love. I could type in English "what would you like for breakfast?," click Italian. In perfect Italian it asked the question. NO CHERADES. Through our travels I used this in Spain, Germany, Turkey, and SOON in Russia. I posted two models below. Both translate Russian. The Franklin model is $79.99 and the Lingo is $99.00. If you are interested in either one of these tools you can go to skymall.com. Click on travel, then on Languages.

Journal #38

It's not a BILL, not JUNKMAIL, or an invitation to
have dinner with the PRESIDENT...




Where do I start....

I was reading a post on a "Maryland" adoption board. The woman was saying she received her FDL in 10 days (sounded very exciting). Not knowing what the heck this is I felt like a "newbie" so I emailed her. She responded telling me it was the same as the I-797. Oh no...what is the I-797. I didn't want to ask her another "silly" question so I called the agency. Apparently the I-797c is the new form number for the I-171h. However, before we all change our terminology, I was told not ALL states have changed form numbers yet. Therefore, some of you still may receive the I-171h. We all should all be informed they are the same.

If you scroll back to journal #34, I confirmed receipt to the USCIS office in Baltimore. Our SW has told me MD is a very fast state so I should expect to receive in about 10 days. Therefore I was not running to the Mailbox until about August 2nd. Surprise! On the third business day we have received our I-797c. I am still a bit shocked. I have to go call Mom!

Journal #37

There is just so much going on I can't wait until tomorrow to blog! Pineapple will certainly be the topic of the week. I am sure there are many of us anxious to hear from Jen.

"The Next Step" should be home this week too so we get to hear more and more about Russia and BABIES!

Of course there are a slew of us running to the mailbox looking for ---- Let's not jinx it. Many waiting for referrals and court dates.

The good new is we all have blogger to whine, cry, laugh, and help us pass the time.

Let me indulge is some "feelings" for a change. I figure by now you are crossing your fingers that when you open my blog you don't have to hear Shakira or see one more photo of baby baedding? OK OK I admit, I get a little bored. However I do have a lot of feelings going on. Sometimes I have trouble organizing them:

Happy: Seeing so many families traveling and sharing their stories make this journey a "reality." There is hope after the paper chase and children needing homes really do come to America. More so sharing the tough times of waiting, anxieties, and excitement remind us we have to pay our dues to get over the rainbow.

Excited: I am so excited to complete each step. Even if I know there will be one more thing all of time, it is fine. I am more ready then EVER to see this to completion. Believe me this is more difficult for me than most because I do have the spouse who "rarely talks about the adoption. Frankly, he just has very little interest. Never a problem in helping me do anything to reach these goals but it is soley done out of respect for me.

Sad: Yes, it saddens me greatly to see the changes in our household since I have become more committed to finding my baby. Thankfully I know it is worth it for I am prepared for the consequences.

Overjoyed: To all of you who don't even know you always keep my spirits up. Every joke, happy story, and blogger babble is the best ever.

Amazement: The personal growth one evolves during this process is indescribable. I am tranforming often!

Ok- lets all cross our fingers that Jen gets home and posts right away so we aren't on pins and needles!

Have a great day!

Journal #36

A real quickie before I cook dinner. I hope everyone had a good week. Of course we are all very excited to hear about Jen & Pineapple. Does her husband have a name? Just kidding, I think it is Mike.

To all of my "new" friends contacting me for information on getting started. Emails will be returned. I was a little stuck this week getting some work finished.

To all of my blogger friends...you guys are the best. I can't even imagine going through this process without all of your funny emails, comments, and personalities!

All of you who have helped guide me in the past few months, your information has been invaluable. I will never forget all of the advice, information, and links given to me. I hope to support other's in the same fashion and TRAIN them to do the same for "newbies."

Adoption aside...I hope all of you have a wonderful and relaxing weekend so we can wake up Monday to see who is going, coming, and receiving!!!

Journal #35

Blogger is sooo stubborn it is plucking my nerves. On top of dealing with blogger my "m" key is sticking and really irritating me!!! A few days ago I added FEEDBLITZ to my blog. Does anyone else there click from blog to blog not knowing who posted what and when? Was anyone else a day late finding out about Jen leaving for Russia today to meet Pineapple? If we would all add feedblitz to our blogs, then add our emails then Feedblitz will email the last post to us. I copied this from Suz's blog. I haven't figured out how to change the red to white like hers but I thought it would be really cool if we all added this so we can get emails for each post. Just an idea. Hope all is going fast and successfully for all!

Journal #34

Finally Mr. Blogger is allowing me to post without issue. I am starting to believe two things: First blogger is telling me to hold my tongue. Secondly, when I do not hold my tongue I JINX myself. Our dossier is not leaving for Russia until Monday. As I posted last week we were hoping the state clearance for Marco would have been resolved so the final copy of the HS could be in our Agency's hands. On Monday morning it was confirmed the state officially misplaced his fingerprints. Unfortunately this is the longest part of the HS process for them to receive the state clearance. This usually takes about 3-6 weeks but with the computer glitch in their new system it is taking even longer. Apparently this glitch kicks out many applications with an error message saying inconsistent information. There was NONE! However, the wonderful mobile fingerprinting service we used came over early Monday morning to redo his prints. Luckily, SUPER LUCKY, I met an angel at the state office. The supervisior was so compassionate she walked the prints through the system into another department until she had the clearance in her hands. She called me at 4 pm on Monday to let me know I could get them. Tuesday AM I picked them up so I could deliver them to our HS agency, and three hours later they called to give me 3 fedex tracking numbers for us, INS, and our placement agency. Now I am feeling
- - - -- (<--- don't want to jinx myself) but will be even more ----- when I track them this morning to make sure all has arrived!

Thanks to my 2 angels...Ms.B who ran to our home to fingerprint Marco when she woke up from her first day back from vacation, and Ms.H, whose employees were sympathetic to turn me over to their boss, and to handle us like a family member. The kindness and service we received from these indivuals was really amazing!

When I called the agency to let them know they will receive the HS this morning, they reviewed the timeline (by request) with me. The dossier will reach Russia next week. The following four weeks our dossier will be in translation, then to be authenticated in Russia, and finally to be registered with the MOE. The estimate time to referral is 1-3 months after being registered so we can expect a referral around Oct/Nov.

Now we will see....so far our timeline has only been off about 10 days. However, the 10 days doesn't seem to effect the referral time. This is a great time to be in the process of translation since everything is slow during the summer months.

My anxiety has subsided is some ways, but is amplified in another! Trying to stay cool and enjoy the process. It can be so exciting and rewarding to accomplish every step.

From day one I was hesitant about Russia. The two trip process is what kept me on the fence. The thought of seeing, holding, and interacting with our future child, and leaving her for an undefined time is petrifying to me. Now I have been in this arena to meet many who have come home, many who are waiting inbetween trips, and many who are starting this process with us. The feeling hasn't escaped me. I am no more delighted about this part of the process but I recognize there are many "leaps of faith" in this process so I feel more prepared for the difficulties.

Wow, this turned to a serious and lengthy post. I hope to be more entertaining next time. Have a great day.

UPDATE AS OF NOON: THE INS, OUR PLACEMENT AGENCY, AND US HAVE RECEIVED THE FEDEX!!!

Journal #33

I guess Blogger is deciding to swallow my life! Yesterday I posted my day. I reviewed. Today, POOF! Yesterday didn't exist. When we were rushing to the airport to pick up Marco's best friend from Bermuda it was real?

Anyway, back to decorating the room. I figured in the months ahead I can change my mind about 250 times before I have to order everything.
Nothing exciting in Baltimore except the rain has stopped for almost 24 hours. FINALLY we had a nice day by the pool. Daniel must have brought us the sunshine from Bermuda.

Hopefully our dossier will be on its way to Russia by Wednesday to be translated.

Have a great weekend!

Dear Anonymous Friends who comment:

If you click on the email link you can

say "hello" and identify yourself. It is

always nice to know who is out there, and what

information is helpful. Thank you for your

compliments. Look forward to hearing from you.

Lauren

Journal #32



Anyone find looking for crib bedding to be dizzying after awhile? YES YES I am back to baby bedding. IT IS DONE, "Deb" done! I found the most awesome site. Deb is the designer, creator, and more! She makes it all from crib bumpers thick, thin, monagrams, boxed, horizontal split, vertical split...BLAH BLAH any fabric, the dust ruffle..sick of ruffles want pom poms, lace, tailored? Blankets, pillows, and linens anyone? Don't forget the toy bags, diaper stackers, bolsters, and window treatments too. Here are a few pics. Please know you can get any fabrics colors and she will help you design anything you want. The prices are all listed on her site too so no BIG surprises. I am posting a few. Not necessarily my favs but just different with interesting details. The waffle fabric on the yellow and blue set comes in many colors. I would like to sleep on this snuggly fabric!

Here is the link to Deb's store Polka Tot Designs from Alabama... http://www.polkatotdesigns.com ENJOY!!!

Journal #31


Here we go again with the blogger not allowing me to do what I want! I completely forgot to ask all of you to say a quick prayer for Italy to win yesterday so I wouldn't be subjected to a cranky pi--ed off man. Luckily they won!!! Yippee no whiners in this household! Who would want FRANCE to win anyway. Meanwhile the phone ringing off the hook from my BIL so they can hoop and hollar about the game. The baby's room is taking shape. Not in real life but in Lauren's World of sketching and resketching. I am getting there. The colors are officially chocolate and PINK, PINK, and a little more pink but too much. If anyone finds a chocolate w/pink polka dots lamp shade please please let me know! I am sure one of you adopting a boy will find it, lol. If anyone has themes or items they are searching for email them to me too. I will certainly look for any sort of items for you. Shopping on the puter is an art. I am in the process of perfecting this art! Another thing to keep between us. To say the least, my shopping talents aren't the most impressive to my husband. I think he would say "bad habit" opposed to talent. I ask him to be open to appreciating my "talent" but he isn't there YET!

Journal #30

What happened to July 5? Did it fall off the calendar? Ok guys I can count but #28 disappeared. I didn't edit or delete in error. A matter of fact I updated with a response to my whining about waiting for Marco's CJIS clearance holding up the final draft of the HS. However that has been worked on and the our wonderful SW called to say it is taken care of....blah blah blah. I guess #28 is lost in bloggerworld but I am not going to renumber because July 5th happened.

Anyway, Marco and I went to dinner with a very good friend last night. We were sitting at the bar for so long having our before dinner cocktail we had to hurry to put our order in at 11pm. This "no smoking" at a bar is so ridiculous! However, forcing me to go outside had its benefits last night. I looked across the street into this gallery to see a painting. INFO on Lauren: I can't see without my glasses! Anyway as I was squinting to see this PINK painting I asked Marco to tell me what it was. He says "It is some SH**." My response: "Ok, does this mean it is really some sh** or could it be an abstract?" We laughed for a moment then he suggested to walk across the street if I was so interested. I must admit some sh** doesn't entice me to walk across the wide cobblestone street in my heels. Walking in heels is not an issue as I prefer 4 inch heels all of the time but the cobblestone part is not COOL! Ladies, A man created cobblestone. They do not wear heels. They do not understand! They NEVER will! However the next time I went outside my curiosity killed the kitty. Carefully I hobbled across the street to check it out? No, to buy it! I loved. I didn't have my purse so I rattled the amex number and expiration so I can pick it up today. This is going in the "pink room" I will post a pic of the sh** (it was NOT an abstract) that I LOVE when I get home later. There was our evening.

Tonight I am off to a dinner party (my girfriend has been preparing this big fried Turkey feast all week). She is so "Martha Stewart" minus the jail part. There is this new company here called www.floralfruitcompany.com so this is what I am bringing to one up her "Martha" moves. Check it out! I had the lady make me one with white and dark chocolate berries in there signature fruit arrangement. The delivery is to my house so I can remove any reminence of the creator. Do you think the girls will believe I cut fruit into flowers all day? I bet I can trick them! Marco is off to see the UFC championship with a bunch of guys who like to watch two men beat the cr** out of each other (that is sh**), I just don't have much interest in this Ultimate Fighting thingy.

Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

Journal #29

Oh my gosh, I am so busy today I don't know what to do with myself. Let's see I woke at 6am, let the pups out, made a coffee, worked out, and when back outside to play ball in the pool with the pups. Mom called to see if I want to meet for lunch. I need to return some fabric samples to my favorite store (Noveau). Uh, Oh! That is it. Incase you don't get my sarcasm...I need something to do! It is only 9:30am so I thought I would send a GOOD MORNING to everyone! I will ba back...

Journal #27

Happy 4th of July weekend to everyone. The rain has finally given us a break into a beautifull and sunny Saturday in Baltimore. We will not be seeing week 13 of the spa bathroom. Marco finished today. It looks amazing. After it is cleaned and pictures hung I will post a photo.

Scribbles or Bubblegum??? NEITHER. As expected I decided I don't like either one. Both give me a little bit of a headache after such a short time. Actually I like the room with the pink walls and sleigh bed but I am searching for different bedding choices to add a little personality. I like the peapod theme so "baby peapod" may have a pink with a little green room. I will post some choices later. If I don't get in the shower I will be late.