Journal #161

Reflections. No matter how much you try to record the biggest day of your life it will become a bit of a blur. Already the time is flying. The changes are unreal. The most memorable time of my life is just that...a memory. Life has moved forward with making bottles and changing diapers (with Mom's help).

Here are a few fond seconds from yesterday:

As we walked out the door I saw the big lip. The Niagra was about to flood. Out comes the video of day 2 when she screams. What an amazing cure all!

We waived bye-bye to all of the wonderful ladies who took such loving care for 6 months. Also to all the other little cupcakes who are waiting for a family.
Well, it was a lot for my first peek of the world. Thanks to Chou-Chou (My SBP), Cupcake was wrapped snuggly warm when she fell asleep on my lap.



I know some of you are going to think I am a wacko but I could do yesterday one more time. Maybe I would catch a glimpse of a few things I probably missed when I was too emotional for all of the kind things being said, or too worried about how Cupcake would be when I kidnapped her from the only little life she has known.

How does today feel? Natural. I look at her like I have known her since the moment she took her first breath. I thank her for being an angel. How can one be so funny, engaging and comfortable? I am happy and worried. I am her mother.

Of course if she decides to be a nightmare on the plane I may pretend my mom is her mother!

Journal #160=7

Cupcake is sleeping soundly. It was an amazing day! Long and tiring for all of us. Details to follow. Goodnight!

Journal #159

Today Cupcake met Grandma. She showed her the dogs walking with a man. They played in the balls, sang, danced, and played some more.

Today Cupcake realized she didn't like when her Mommy picked up the other children. She soured her face and did hands up real fast. She cried hard when I walked out so I turned back to pick her up. We did a high five, she gave me a BIG smile, and I handed her to Irina.

Today I realized my heart would break to leave my daughter crying. Tomorrow I would be making bottles and changing diapers. My new life is beginning. I am living it.

Today I realized there is no more "I" and only "US". I know the three of us are about to embark on the journey of LIFE as a family.

Yesterday I called home. I wasn't sure if the line had static but Marco asked me if we needed diapers. All I could do was ask where he was. He told me he went stupid. I wasn't sure what this meant. He decided to go to ToysRUs in the middle of a snowstorm.

See Ladies- Retail Therapy is for men too! I realize now how difficult it must be for him to be waiting for us.

We will be home soon!

Journal #158

EDIT: 11:15pm EST- 7:15am Moscow Time: Mom and I are getting ready for her to meet her grandaughter for the first time!
Which is more exciting Mom, Larry, & Joe coming in a couple of hours or Cupcake's arrival on Tuesday?

Since I s0und like a broken record the past three days I thought I would do a little recap of some moments in Moscow.

The first photo is my better half. I didn't say better looking. When he saw this costume in the playroom he couldn't resist. I was quite nervous this would make Cupcake crumble but she was amused. Maybe this is a character she knows?

Valentine's Day was suppose to be a big deal. Jeff and Maria were coming for dinner and we just finished our COURT DATE! After calling home to a few people I fell asleep face down on the sofa. Waking up at 10:30 we missed J & M but Marco was thrilled that he was able to finish working (quietly=me sleeping)so I made us a little dinner...
The gift bags were fun to make. I put them together when we arrived. It was an evening activity. I missed my photo op for the gift bag for the Director which was super beautiful but the one's below are for all of the caretakers. The pink ones' have some extra's for Tatiana and Irina who are the one's Cupcake looks to like Mama...In the bags: hat, scarf, glove, squishy socks, perfume, flavored lip gloss/chapstick, lotion, a wallet with a photo of Cupcake and American coins, 2 handfuls of assorted candies (minatures m&m, twix, and snickers in pink wrappers from the V-Day Candy)
I know these pics aren't as exciting as seeing Cupcake on the big red POTTY. Many opinions on this one. I received many emails about the big red POTTY. My opinion remains the same or I would not have let them put her on it. The kids do not mind, it does not hurt them, and it beats the freezer room! However, I think it is silly to call it potty training as they are BABIES. WHATEVER!

I have to go clean up a bit. Hope Monday brings what everyone is waiting for...

Journal #157

Today I spent the last visit "just the 2 of us" and it went so quickly it is now a blur. The second day in a row I was sitting on the floor next to her crib waiting for her to wake up. She must think I am the *NEW* Caregiver! She wakes up with a sunshiney smile that make me smile too.

We played in her room today. The other children were in the icebox for the better part of the morning. I just wanted to call 911 so the fireman could come and rescue them (see below if you missed yesterday's post).

We (Tatiana and I) changed her clothes, put her shoes on, and off to play we go. It was a nice day together because I feel her becoming closer to me. She comes to me when I put out my hands, she hands me a different toy when she is done, and loves to sit and review the previous days video's. We have been working on High five's, clapping, raspberries, and blowing kisses. She is quite impressive.

As I mentioned before, our first referral is now in her group. At the end of the day Cupcake climbed in the pit to play and when she saw referral number one playing with the tamborine we were playing with earlier, she climbed out of the pit to work her way over to the child. Anastacia (referral 1) turned around quickly as she knew Cupcake was about to ATTACK. My sweet little Cupcake grabs her dress, pulls her, and takes the tamborine. She was only short of slugging her. I was SHOCKED that my sweet little Cupcake was such the bully! I called her, she dropped the tamborine and crawled to me in a split second with hands up...OH GOSH she can do know wrong! I think she knows! So much for a lesson in sharing. As I picked her up I looked at in her eyes she looked at me, high fived, giggled, and I gave her kisses all over! Hmmm, probably not the thing to do but I won't see her tomorrow. TOMORROW...

When I got home I cooked dinner at 4 pm. In my mind all I have to do is eat dinner, go to sleep, wake up, take a shower and MOM will be here! I am so excited to them!!!

Journal #156

Today's (3 hour) visit was great! I felt as though I saw it ALL! Maybe more than I was prepared to see! First, the other 11 children behind a door in Cupcake's room shocked me! I have never heard them before. A matter of fact I thought it was the secret terrace where the children nap. However, the 10 down syndrome children and the one severely FAS child (who happened to be our 2nd referral) were behind this door! Next-I FOUND THE TERRACE! OMG- here is why our children get bronchitis and have a perpetual cold...

She is dressed in the usual layers, snowsuit, wrapped in a wool blanket, her hat, and then placed in this bunting which is usually tied. Not a peep in this room as the children appear frozen alive. I was amazed, confused, and shocked as it was explained to me they do this twice a day for an hour in 32 degrees F for the children to get fresh air. In less than 2 minutes my teeth were chattering and I had to exit!


I continued to smile through the next segment. After lunch, it was POTTY time. Cupcake has no CLUE AT ALL why she is placed on the big red chair with a seat belt. She knows she doesn't like the belt so she fiddles around with it, then she starts giving herself a pedicure, then she holds her head as if she is annoyed. Finally I held my hands out and she was quite excited to get the heck out of the HOT SMELLY potty room. By the way, I was too!

Still I think all of the women, the baby home, and the director are AMAZING. I do find some of there daily habits INSANE!

Mom, Larry, & Joe...HURRY- I can't wait to see you!

Journal #155

What a Wednesday! I hired a car to take me to the baby home. Thank you Andrei! This was "SOLO" no interpretor in tow! When I arrived Cupcake was sound a sleep but I really enjoyed watching her quietly sleep with her little thumb in her mouth. It was such a Kodak moment! If you missed my last post I abused my Sony...it died! No more pics until the family arrive with a camera for me on Sunday!

Whoever would of thought, thinked, or thunk that a cute little Cupcake could wake up like the BIGGEST stinky POO POO ever! Whew I was glad it wasn't the day for me to change adn take her! I might have cried or handed her to MOM! Whoa, Baby you can not do this when we get home, LOL! Anyway, I got to see how the Caretakers clean the babies. After removing the diaper and stripping her down off to the bath. AH HA...now I understand why they say she gets about 3-4 baths a day. The cool part was I got to watch. They do not submerge the baby into water. While Cupcake was standing and the Caretaker was kneeling on the side of the tub holding one hand she sponge bathed her and showered with a hand held. Now we can bath her this way for a bit until we show how much fun a REAL bath it. The disturbing moment for the day was I got to see what I didn't want to believe. A 14 month old baby girl seat belted into a high chair with her potty chair on top. She was in there prior to my arrival and still strapped on the potty until after Cupcake was showered and dressed. Arrgghh!

We went into the playroom. This is the first time she tried to climb on the trampoline. With a little assistance she got it. Then to the ball pit. The day ended with the car... she is already to drive! We played for 2 hours, fed her 2 bottles, changed her into jammies, and gave her BIG KISSES.

Everytime I leave it is more difficult. Everytime I leave I miss her more...the closer it gets the harder it gets!

After I had the driver take me to The Renaissance to visit Laura, Rich, & Tiger. OH MY what cheeks and polkies this little one has! We had lunch real quick. Laura and I took the shuttle back to Tverskaya, and HIKED in -15 to the big baby store. painful walk!

By the way, no one heard from me yesterday because I slept until 11:30, made lunch, laid back in bed to watch a few episodes of Law & Order. Basically I did nothing until I heard from Maria & Jeff. I was waiting for the green light to visit Tyler. What a superman he will be with the biggest blue eyes. I must say he was really amazing for a first day home. When I walked in it was like he has been there forever! It was really incredible for them to share this first day home with me!

Tomorrow is going to be a repeat of Tuesday. NOTHING but relaxation! Friday I will repeat today. Sunday my family arrives. Monday Nana will meet Cupcake. TUESDAY is the big day to bring her to the apartment to meet Poppy and Uncle Joe too!

Journal #154
Saturday Night Photo Update: "The Girls In Moscow"
Laura, Lauren, Kate, & Maria

Today was my first day SOLO to the baby home. Waking up was super easy even with little sleep. I was really looking forward to seeing Cupcake today so we could have some Mommy & Me time. She didn't cry today but as a precaution I pulled out the video camera to play back some tears and giggles. She really loves watching herself. When Cupcake was watching the video of Marco playing with her lips she looked around the room. It was cute. We headed into the ball pit, tried to get her to eat (NYET NYET NYET!!!). She refuses to eat once she gets a sniff of the bottle. Her lovely Caregiver's prepare a new bottle of cereal, she drinks her compote, and is ready to play. She skipped her morning nap so she was a bit calmer. In the process of holding her, the camera, and the video camera...My camera crashed into a chair. It was the third and final blow in the past 2 days for my fairly new and loved Sony. I am almost embarrassed to use my warranty when I return as I have clearly ABUSED my favorite toy! A new one is being overnighted to the house so my mom can bring it to me on Sunday which equates to 3 visits with no camera. If I hold it together with one hand I can get it to work sometimes but no promises for new pics on the blog until next week.

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY for Jeff and Maria so I am super excited to meet Baby Tyler tomorrow night. BIG HUGS & KISSES to you both!!!

Journal #154

Yesterday when Kate & I went to visit Cupcake I noticed a few changes. Even though she greeted with a few big tears for the second time, she comes to me very quickly. When I walked away leaving her with Kate so I could grab a ball she wimpered as she intensley was watching where I was going.


Kate and Cupcake had fun too but she did check in to make sure I was closeby. Maybe without Marco, who doesn't like to SHARE our daughter realized I wasn't the Nanny?


Today was the celebration of the mirror. She was really into every mirrow she could glance in. After we watched a couple video's together we went into the ball pit. The three of us got in and played for quite awhile.

One of the cutest moments of the day is when she stood up in the ball pit and started looking at the baby in the mirror. Then she bent down to pick up a ball and share it with the baby. She held it out for a minute or two but the other baby had the same ball, lol.

When I returned her to the playroom area with all of her friends she BAWLED so I picked her up for a few tickles and kisses. When I put her back in I figured out it would be difficult to leave her. I held her tight for a few minutes until her Caregiver was finished with another child. I squeezed her cheeks, kissed her nose, and left quickly.

After I took a deep breath I counted 4 more visits until I never have to leave her! I don't think I can handle much more. At least when Marco and I leave together we can laugh and talk about the day. Leaving alone will prove to be more difficult in the upcoming week.

Kate and I departed today but M-W-F I am solo...OH KNOW! I can just imagine my brain being stuck on leaving her!

Tuesday Tyler will be home with Maria&Jeff, and One more week until Mom, Larry, & Joe come!!!

Who is the baby in the window? She has the same ball too!

Journal #153

Friday started about noon waiting for the driver to pick the 4 of us (Maria & Jeff) to head over to Arbat St. We walked around for a bit. I was able to find the Faberge lockets I was looking for. Then we went to a nice little cafe in the building where Maria & Jeff are residing.

Then the SURPRISE guest called to say she arrived at the train stop near the DUMA so I got dressed in SUPER warm clothes to meet KATE! We went to get a coffee. It didn't work out well as we asked three different waiters for a menu and twenty minutes after we sat down we still did not have our hot chocolate and raspberry cappy. I thought with Kate's impressive Russian we would get better service but NOPE!

We stopped to get a snack and came home. Marco, Kate and I chit chatted until very late.

Marco got ready to leave at 10 am to head to the airport. Kate and I headed to Cupcakeland. What a day! Cupcake was a bit confused looking for Daddy. The 3 girls spent a very active day together.

Kate needed some girl stuff at LUSH. What is a girl to do when she is running low on moisturizer? Coincedently I found one on Arbat St so we headed over.

Now Kate is taking a cat nap and I am going to figure which of the million pics to post before I fall asleep too.

Journal #152

The first day seeing our daughter...was different! Of course we went more excited then any other time as it would be the first time we met as her parents. Anxiously I went to wait outside the door so I could peek as she was being primped and prettied to see us. As she caught a glimpse of me she started to BAWL. I was thinking why didn't I just wait like Marco in the playroom? I can't WAIT! So I reached out my fingers. She took them as she slid off of her Caregiver's lap (BAWLING) and we proceeded to walk, her infront , her little hands grasping my fingers and still BAWLING. I walked Marco's loudly screaming daughter over to him. He picked her up onto his lap, she silenced for a half a second to stare at him...and continued BAWLING for as long as it took me to dig out the video camera. Again I played the video from Sunday when she was demonstrating her lung capacity. It startles her for a second she smiles. Luckily she SMILED ALL DAY. I was worried for a minute on how this visit was going to turn out but it was the BEST of them all. All three of us had a BLAST.

This was the last visit for the three of us together to do all of the things we always do. We play with the ball, the rattle, the piano, and kick around a ball for a quick game of soccer. Somewhere in the middle we change her into PINK, feed her 2 bottles, and manage to get about 100 pics & video's.

Our time quickly draws to a close so we return her to her friends. It is hard to imagine 3 hours flew by! With many hugs and kisses and even more tickles we turn to leave.

The next time we will be together seems so far away. Marco leaves Russia on Saturday. My family comes on the 25th and we will not be back home until March 10th.

My schedule: Tomorrow night I have a surprise blogger friend coming to spend the weekend so I am excited. Next week I arranged for a driver to bring me to the baby home M-W-F. Sunday my Mom, Larry, & Joe come for the week. On the 27th Mom and I will bring Cupcake to the apartment. Then the 3 girls are on their own for a week in Moscow. Then we will fly to JFK. When we arrive Larry and Marco will come to bring us home.

OK, I am not ready to rush time. I want to embrace every second through the final moments. If I wasn't so sleepy I probably would have continued until her Sweet 16!

Goodnight Everyone...not without a Little Cupcake...




The first picture of us as Cupcake's parents.
First Valentine's Day Pic with Daddy!

Journal 1+5+1

February 14, 2007 @ 11:20am Moscow time the Judge in the Moscow Region approved the adoption of Cupcake! We were granted the "key to our hearts" on Valentine's Day!

Journal #150

Happy Tuesday! I guess we are back on US time. We just finished our eggs, bacon and toast (7am EST). We are laying around doing NOTHING! When we woke the streets were cleaner than ever and the snow was gone. Two hours later the filthy, slushy streets and sidewalks are back to normal.

Here is one thing all of us will agree on no matter what stage of the process you may be...Russian adoption is full of many surprises, changes, and unpredictable days!

Today we had the BIGGEST SURPRISE! BUT, it is a secret until tomorrow. Not because I am such the "surprise" kind of person but it could change again. Can't jinx myself on this one!

I finished the post from yesterday so if you want to check out our dinner with Maria & Jeff, or IF you need a little CUPCAKE fix scroll down!

Journal #149
Monday:

We received our court today for early Thursday, February 15th. (Court on the 13th, 14th, or 15th result in taking custody on the 27th)

I was so tired yesterday and blogger kept giving me problems posting pics so I have learned after a try ot two to do it later. Here is later which is a combination of a great dinner with friends and a little more CUPCAKE!

Sunday Night:
We had dinner with Maria and Jeff. Below you see their entree's. The Butterfish and the Veal tenderloins. As you see the dishes are served on GIGANTIC plates (platters), and the PepperMill is all of 4+ft too. Three words to describe the restrauant: Ecletic, Contemporary, & Fusion. Rating ****/Outstanding. The restrauant is located around the corner from the Marriot Courtyard. It was recommended by Melissa & Mike. Thank you both. We had an outstanding 4 hour dinner!

Cupcake Time:

Today was a bit manic. Our first hour was spent with the Chucky Doll but an hour later Cupcake appeared. All joking aside it is so sad to watch your child in pain. She doesn't cry for attention or for you but she will for pain. Her teething pain is genuine. In her case it was severe. She saw Marco's hand and there she was again anxious to play Peek-A-Boo. This time it was really great because she put her face down and up. When she giggled it was too much!

In the next photo look at the AIRBOURNE white video camera. We took a video of her tantrum. When we showed her the video she took note. She watched intensely, and changed her frown upside down quickly. When she was finished watching herself she tossed the camera. It was quite cute!!! By the way, the pink outfit is one of the smallest of the 12mo clothing I had but it was a bit big. She seems a bit narrow so the lengths are great but the waist was still a bit big.

For those who do not know we are not able to post pictures of her so you will notice her face does not appear. (I can take photos but these are Blog Appropriate).

We will not be going to visit until Wednesday. Marco needs some rest, Maria & Jeff missed Tyler so they took the driver for the day, and I am drinking tea and straightening up things today.

Journal #148

We are on our way for our caffeine injections and then to visit Cupcake. Hopefully she will be feeling a bit better.

For the record-"the Antenna Do" was compliments of the Caretakers. Sorry to dissappoint, but we are not that creative YET! Be back in a bit!

Journal #147

When you walk out of our apartment there is the largest Women's Club? Men's Club? It is the Russian Chippendales! The billboards are quite explicit! We are going to have to cover Cupcake's eyes! I am getting smarter I know if I post Cupcake news first you will never read the junk! Keep going...

We arrived at the baby home about 10:30. She was not feeling well as she has been teething. Cupcake must of hatched at least 4 more teeth since we have seen her, she had the "Antenna" hairdo (the little pony tail standing straight up on her head!). She was a "daddy's girl" today as she didn't care much to move off his lap. She was sleepy, cranky, and CRIED. It was the first time we saw tears! We were happy to see tears, not happy she was crying. She clearly didn't want to play and felt crummy. We felt like she needed to be left alone today so we gave her BIG hugs, kisses, and tickles. After her spirit was lifted we felt content to leave. After leaving last trip we knew she was in good hands but it was a relief to see her!

After we returned we met Maria & Jeff to head down to the largest baby store. It is not to far from Duma. It is almost to big to have fun as you think you just can't see everything. BUT- an Italian can stiff out Italian shoes from miles away so once Marco landed all of the Italian shoes, examined the stitching, picked the colors, and decided on the her first shoes...the lady brings them out. The last pair in her size so the shoe on the floor was the other half. It was a bit discolored. OMG- I was going to be stuck in the baby shoes for the rest of the day. The picture doesn't do them just but they are multi colored suede's with hand stitching. We decided on a pair of Ecco's for her but we have to get them tomorrow but he couldn't resist...Here are her FIRST SHOES:

If you made it this far you deserve a little Cupcake! Here is a peek of them playing Peek-A-Boo...(look at the little antenna). Goodnight

Journal #146

Good Evening from Moscow. We have arrived well but we were not able to see Cupcake today. I did know this prior to arrival but after I posted. Maria gave me the news which was a good thing! We have unpacked, Maria and Jeff came by, we walked to get a snack, and a quick trip to the grocery store. We will be picked up tomorrow at 9 am so we can have a happy Cupcake day! Stay tuned: Tomorrow-xxx pics of the scenery outside of our very awesome apartment! You can check it out here: http://www.go-russia.com/apartmentsdetails.php?id=138

EDIT:

Good Morning from Moscow! It is 5:30am. After the last hour of tossing and turning I do not have to worry about oversleeping. I have given up on sleeping since I am to excited to go visit Cupcake and all of her friends!

Journal #145

We are going to see Cupcake tomorrow!

Journal #144

Emotional! I never imagined waking up with all of these feelings. I guess it is good to feel but it is a bit overwhelming in a good way. Tonight will be last time we have dinner as the family we have known for five years. There are a lot of "last things" that are about to happen today. It is a bit strange, it has given me a few tears, and a lot of smiles thinking about the changes. Our reality is we are two self-centered (at times) individuals with no routine, complete independence, and a free spirited lifestyle. We come and go on planes, boats, and automobiles with usually little or no plans. Schedules, routines, itineraries, and advanced commitments are not usually liked by us. We have been labeled Type-E personalities so we respect one anothers' space and off the hook needs to come and go. Now maybe you understand why we never discussed children, LOL. On the other hand, we are stable, responsible adults who come from loving families who are a big part of our lives. Even more importantly we both fell inove "FOR REAL" with the same little Cupcake at the same exact moment. Neither of us EVER believed in "Love at first sight" until we met Cupcake. She truly defines for us, "When our eyes met across a crowded room..."
Looking forward to the complete spectrum of emotions as we embark on the final leg of our adoption journey to Russia.

Anyway, I woke-up early to bake blueberry muffins, warm the espresso machine, and make sure our last breakfast was peaceful and relaxed. A surprise email came through from Melissa. She was a bit surprised I was awake so she called to say they have arrived well in Rostov. Kevin sounded like he was an angel on their long trip to find his sister. Tomorrow they will have court. Not an hour later (5:30amEST) Maria & Jeff were emailing to say "One More Day" and by the way can you brings us: microwave popcorn, Equal, mayo, 12 ft USB cable, and a 16 ft coaxial cable. Also if possible we could use a deck of cards. ANYTHING FOR YOU GUYS! I already packed the extra cell phone. What if I was normal and my suitcase was busting at the seams? After looking last night all of these extras may actually fill my 29 inch suitcase! I do remember the days traveling with as many pieces of luggage as possible. I think it was New Year's about 3 years ago when I packed 8-9 pieces for 4 days that Marco said NO MORE. Ok, honey but you know I like our linens, towels, blankies, and pillows (you seemed to enjoy them too!) but I will work on it. Working on it meant ONE PIECE of luggage for the rest of our lives.

My big plans for the day are to do the little nothing errands I blew off yesterday since it was too cold to leave the house. Yes, I better get use to it QUICKLY!

To all my blogger friends: All of you have been so tremendous during this time in my life I barely know what to say! From kind words to great advice I thank you with all of my heart!!!

Journal #143

The anxiety...Rolling over to see the clock at 4:30am has to be a Karmic connection to Maria. They had court at 11am. The next time I speak to my girlfriend she will be a MOMMY! Lucky number seven did it again! By the way, we met Cupcake on the 7th.

Today's plan is to pick up Marco's Lipitor-(his solution to being able to eat his proscuitto, swiss, and mayo sandwiches), write a few notes to Mom & Larry who will be staying with the furry children while we are away, and make sure all of our batteries for all of our cameras are charged and packed. As you see another busy day in my life of watching the countdown until Friday morning! I just want to be able to say, "Cupcake, we will see you tomorrow!"

Journal #142-

There is a final edit at the bottom but this one should be it for today. We are leaving on Friday as it is too complicated to change it by one day. They have agreed to pick us up at the apartment upon our arrival to take us to see Cupcake on Saturday. Apparently Moscow Region is requiring a certain number of visits before court. Also I am being asked by many when is our court date. Good question but in Moscow Region we are not given a date but given the week of...the 12th is our week so we will have court on the 13th, 14th, or 15th.

There is no good reason to be awake at 6am!

One of the first nights I fall asleep early an email comes in from our agency. Can you imagine how excited/nervous I was to wake up at this ridiculous hour to see an email? HOLD your horses-it was just a quick question to ask when we are arriving and IF we get confirmation today, the facilitator would want us out there ASAP as we need to get in a few visits before court. Always great to wake up to a little laughter. Well, let us check our schedules to see if we can make it? Maybe a picture of the suitcases by the door would be appropriate to send in the response email?

On a happy note- Maria & Jeff are with Baby Tyler. I know they are thrilled!

Also a BIG GOODBYE to Melissa, Mike, and Baby Kevin who are on their way to get Baby Olive! Have a pleasant flight!!!

EDIT #1- You guys thought I was joking but the email went!



FINAL EDIT : We received the call at 10:15 asking if we can get to Russia earlier? There are no flights on Wednesday from JFK to SVO...We are trying for Thursday!

Journal #141

Monday has come and gone in Russia. I hesitate to say Tuesday is the day but I think today is do or die as far as getting a court date for the week of the 12th. Our agency has been wonderfully compassionate by sending email and calls just to check-in. They are hoping to call us tomorrow and we are hoping they call with what we want to hear. We all know how this process works so as long as we limit it to "HOPE" and not expectations we will survive like everyone else who suffers delays. Seeing Cupcake on Sunday is all I think about. I am so curious to know if she is walking, eating from a spoon, and whatever else may have changed in the 8 weeks since we have been with her.

Goodnight-

Journal #140

It is about 5:30 pm on Sunday in Moscow. This time next week we will be in our apartment on Tverskaya Street. I feel so close to Cupcake as I know we will be here soon!

Any other super organized people who feel like they never have anything to do last minute, lol? Trying to fill the time until we leave on Friday may prove difficult.
Happy Superbowl Sunday !(to those who care-I am just the cook for Superbowl snacks-also hoping I can find some reruns of Law&Order while I am in the kitchen)

Quick Edit: The phone just rang from Russia-Maria & Jeff are safe and delighted to be in Moscow!

Journal #139

Recovery- Waking up this morning was a relief! Yesterday morning started on Journal #137. At 9am I added an edit of taking a guess. I was hoping for 'A' but my intuition throughout the process led me to 'C'. being a skeptic has made it quite difficult to take me to a real LOW but I was pretty dissappointed as I felt it was not just the "process" but it was unacceptable. At 10 am I received the unexpected email opposed to the expected phone call. Unfortunately the facilitator was out sick so he was not able to get back to our agency with the final confirmation. What does this mean? It is still unclear. We are still told we are proceeding as scheduled with a court date the week of the 12th but we have known this since the 24th. We were told we would have confirmation one to two weeks prior. Our one week prior came and passed yesterday. We are leaving on Friday for Moscow. Instead of being upset about the lack of confirmation we are moving forward as planned. To say the least we can not wait to see Cupcake on Sunday. It seems so long ago we were playing ball, building blocks, and jingling keys. If only she remembered us the way we remember her! We look forward to reestablishing a relationship with her. By day 3 on trip one there was a considerable difference with her playfulness and giggles. She knew it was playtime with strangers. She seemed to really enjoy the contact and attention. Over the next three weeks we hope to increase our visits from every couple days to every other day to everyday when we near the last five days of visitation before custody.

To my SBP: Thank you for the adorable rag bunny, blankie, and dress. This is her first sundress as of now she only has winter clothes. I was going to post pics but since I am going to bring the Cupcake blankie I rather it make its first appearance from Moscow! Your thoughtfulness was tremendous!

Journal #138- Solutions to today's issues...

No need to send sympathies as I have found a way to smile.

The answer is "C"

Journal #137

Congrats to Lisa & Scott on their Valentine's Day Court date! I have had to hold my tongue on this one until Lisa posted (finally). I know you are so excited to see Andrew. We can't wait to meet him when you return!

It is really great that we will all see each other as we did on trip one! Of course I wish I didn't wake so early as I know today will be very long. Hopefully the phone won't ring much until it is the call we are waiting for today!

EDIT:
Want to take a guess?
When we get the call we will hear...

A) You are confirmed.

B) You are confirmed but delayed for a week.

C) There is an issue we will have to get back to you MONDAY (the dreaded waiting through another weekend for MONDAY)

Journal #136

A good ending to a tough day. All day I wished the day away. I just wanted to got o sleep so I can wake up to FRIDAY! The morning was super slow but after I got over the afternoon hump watching the clock got old. Tonight I headed over to Maria & Jeff's to bring dinner so they could relax and pack. We had a really nice time. Tonight was a substitute for our weekly lunch date since Maria had to work. After dinner we packed up all of the baby's stuff and the gifts.

Tomorrow is either going to be super fantabulous or ...we are expecting the confirmation of our court date by the end of the day. All of the BIG INFO seems to disperse at the 11th hour. So many things can happen you just don't know. The "not knowing" drives me bonkers! Happily I say "Goodnight" so I can open my eyes to tomorrow.

Journal #135

Waking up not feeling great but super happy (Melissa or Maria- did one of you pass your germs through the phone?).

Just so happy to be able to flip to the February calendar. Last night we had a business meeting in the city so we ended up at Ruth Cris with another gentleman. I was having a silent celebration dinner that January was BYE BYE & HELLO February! Thanks for my better half. At least he is fully functional, handles our company, and everything dealing with the outside world for now. The outside world is defined as all people who do not know about our adoption or the stupid ones' who found out accidently but ask the DREADED questions every time they see you. You know those questions...DID YOU GET THE BABY?, How much longer?, Does it always take this long?, Ohhh- I thought you were bringing her home in December. WHATEVER!

I should not whine as I am sure they are just curious but sometimes the questions are not only irritating but sound stupid. In addition we didn't tell many people but a few people didn't realize it was personal. It is only a big deal when you are super sensitive with your soon be daughter's suitcase packed at the front door 12 days before we leave. Yesterday I sent betsy a farewell email as they are on their way to get Creecher. Tonight we will go Maria & Jeff's to spend sometime with them and say "Bon Voyage!" Tuesday we wish Melissa and Mike a fantabulous trip to Olive. Friday, Laura&Rich leave and we do too.

Before we come home with new pics I wanted to post a pic of Maria and I on Tverskaya Street. She emailed it to me a couple weeks ago. Please note I am holding my jacket. Yes, the weather was that great in December. A tank top, t-shirt, and sweater was MORE than enough. We all know this trip we won't be so lucky. The next pictures you probably will only be able to see our eyes as we have been warned to stay covered!

Happy February!!!