Journal #205

REFERRALS! Getting a referral is probably the most exciting moment before meeting your child. Some go blind & some get pics and information before travel. Personally, going blind was our preference. When discussing this with our agency in June of 2006 we wanted to go blind but to somewhere our IA doctor could accompany us on our first meeting.

Without to much rambling on about "us" I want to share with you a picture I have never shared before because it was not possible at the time.

After we had declined referrals the facilitator was able to share a picture of a little girl. We couldn't see well the eyes, ears, or legs. Rickets were a great concern by the way she was standing. Mostly we were nervous. I think we both agreed to go see her immediately as we saw quite a few pictures of other children who left us confused and scared but ... it was a very emotional time. This is the Picture...

The picture above was taken on Monday, December 4, 2006. (16.5 mo. & 16 lbs)
Marco holding Cupcake on December 7, 2006-3 days after we receieved picture 1.

Below is Cupcake on her first outting home on March 13, 2007.
Happy Birthday & Happy 5 months home! (2 yo & 23lbs)

Good Morning Cupcake! I know you will forgive me for posting "the pic" of you. XOXO

Journal #204
Are you gonna be ONE??? Noooooo
Are you gonna be TWOOOO? YESSS

As we get closer to Cupcake's 2nd Birthday Bash on Saturday I am excited, nervous to forget something (my 30 something old brain has a memory chip missing lately), and I have found myself falling into deep thoughts about our trip in Moscow.

At some point it becomes a strange thought process to think your baby could have grown up in this way. It is sad to think of no goodnight kisses, no bath with toys, no mommy & daddy, never learning how to make decisions as there are not many choices, and never having anything to call their own.

The best part ... you can not remember life before the existance of your child. I have a feeling this "once in a while" feeling will always cross all of our minds with worry for the orphans left behind mixed with the gratefulness of being home happily with our child.

On Cupcake's 2nd birthday, I will make her wishes for her. She only had two wishes. She wished for a family and she wishes for all the children left behind to all find their forever families too. I know this what she would want.

So on Saturday when we blow out the candles we will have a moment of silence as our family will be wishing all the families who are celebrating reaccreditation will be hurrying to bring their babies home!

From our family to yours... We wish all of you the journey of your lives in completing your family in the most rewarding way in the world. We wish you a speedy return home.

We look forward to hearing from you!

We can always be found @
http://ourcupcake.blogspot.com/

Yesterday one of my friends sent me an email. She may be a blogger friend of yours too. I couldn't email her back but 2 cheesy sentences basically saying I am not qutie sure what to say and if you need me I am a call away but this morning is worse than yestgerday.

If you haven't figured out- I speaking about "Lisa" who you can find under "WAITING FOR COURT DATE." Yesterday was suppose to be the day to get the COURT DATE not a heart breaking message indicating the girls are no longer available.

Yesterday I was sad for the girls. All I could think about is "IF ONLY" times a million. If they only knew when they took "guardianship" opposed to adopting ONLY to prevent these children from leaving the country the girls were about to have the BEST life imaginable with the an amazing mother!

Today my tears are for Lisa-

Lisa- You are such a special person. Your strength has been an inspiration. I send you hugs, friendship, and tissues! You are in my thoughts.